1. What does being born in September tell you about your parents?
They started the year off with a bang.
2. What do you call a man that cries while he pleasures himself?
A tearjerker.
3. What’s the difference between a job and marriage?
A job still sucks after a decade.
4. What goes in hard and dry, then comes out wet and soft?
Chewing gum.
5. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
6. When should you use a ******?
Any conceivable occasion.
7. What’s long, hard, and full of seamen?
A submarine.