Help Gusto ko na mag settle down pero....:-(

[Joana88]

Nagbabalak na kami magpakasal ng BF ko kaso, may 2nd thoughts ako kasi ako lang inaasahan ng mga parents ko,
Financially. as in sa akin lang sila naka depende, di ko sila matalikuran, if magpakasal na ako, di ko na sila masusuportahan
tulad ng pag susuport ko ngayon, kasi for sure, kasi magiging priority ko ang magiging husbang ko at magiging anak namin.
ano kayo dapat ko gawin... please ...payo naman po.. Any advice would be appreciated

 

[🤖]

I understand that you're facing a difficult dilemma regarding your plans to settle down with your boyfriend. It can be challenging when you feel that your parents solely depend on you financially, and you worry that getting married will affect your ability to support them like you do now.

Here are a few suggestions to help you navigate this situation:

1. Open and honest communication: Sit down with your parents and have a heart-to-heart conversation about your concerns. Share your feelings and worries with them, and try to understand their perspective as well. Together, you might be able to find some solutions or compromises that address everyone's needs.

2. Financial planning: Consider creating a financial plan that takes into account your future responsibilities as a wife and a potential mother, while also ensuring that you can continue supporting your parents to some extent. This might involve setting aside a portion of your income for them or exploring other ways to generate additional income.

3. Seek assistance: Look into resources available in your community that can provide support for your parents. This could include government programs, non-profit organizations, or even extended family members who might be able to contribute in some way. It's essential to remember that you can't shoulder all the financial responsibility alone.

4. Share responsibilities: Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns and try to come up with a plan that allows both of you to share the financial responsibilities. Marriage is a partnership, and it's crucial to work together as a team to ensure the well-being of both your immediate and extended families.

5. Prioritize self-care: Taking care of your own well-being is essential. Being torn between your parents and your future family can be emotionally draining. Remember to take time for yourself, seek support from friends or a therapist, and make decisions that align with your own happiness and long-term goals.

Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, and it's crucial to consider your own needs and aspirations. It may be challenging to find a perfect solution that satisfies everyone, but with open communication, careful planning, and support from your loved ones, you can find a way forward that works for you.

 

[Cee Jay]

I understand that you're facing a difficult dilemma regarding your plans to settle down with your boyfriend. It can be challenging when you feel that your parents solely depend on you financially, and you worry that getting married will affect your ability to support them like you do now.

Here are a few suggestions to help you navigate this situation:

1. Open and honest communication: Sit down with your parents and have a heart-to-heart conversation about your concerns. Share your feelings and worries with them, and try to understand their perspective as well. Together, you might be able to find some solutions or compromises that address everyone's needs.

2. Financial planning: Consider creating a financial plan that takes into account your future responsibilities as a wife and a potential mother, while also ensuring that you can continue supporting your parents to some extent. This might involve setting aside a portion of your income for them or exploring other ways to generate additional income.

3. Seek assistance: Look into resources available in your community that can provide support for your parents. This could include government programs, non-profit organizations, or even extended family members who might be able to contribute in some way. It's essential to remember that you can't shoulder all the financial responsibility alone.

4. Share responsibilities: Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns and try to come up with a plan that allows both of you to share the financial responsibilities. Marriage is a partnership, and it's crucial to work together as a team to ensure the well-being of both your immediate and extended families.

5. Prioritize self-care: Taking care of your own well-being is essential. Being torn between your parents and your future family can be emotionally draining. Remember to take time for yourself, seek support from friends or a therapist, and make decisions that align with your own happiness and long-term goals.

Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, and it's crucial to consider your own needs and aspirations. It may be challenging to find a perfect solution that satisfies everyone, but with open communication, careful planning, and support from your loved ones, you can find a way forward that works for you.

I will suggest the same as PHC Robot suggested.

 

[plhbg1]

more background boss regarding sa kung bakit umabot ka sa ikaw na talaga ang bumubuhay sa parents mo? pinatapos ka lang pala nila para buhayin mo sila?

 

[JoeGoldberg]

Choices and Consequences. Im pretty sure your parents will understand. Well just keep in mind Regrets come after. Kung alam ng bf mo sitwasyon mo then he should understand and wait for right time. Kung kaya nya naman buhayin pamilya nyo while nag susustento ka sa parents mo why not di ba. Pero kung di sha agree sa bagay na yon think twice.

 

[Joana88]

more background boss regarding sa kung bakit umabot ka sa ikaw na talaga ang bumubuhay sa parents mo? pinatapos ka lang pala nila para buhayin mo sila?

sabihin nating, maraming anak pero mga iresponsible, parang wala na pakialam sa mga magulang namin, pwede rin sabihin may mga pamilya na sila...or may mga anak na....at ako ang nagpasan ngayon kasi ako ang huling magaasawa

 

[yeojingoo]

I think pakasala as civil, about money mahirap talaga Dyan magdecide or heart to heart talk parents mo kase baka mag tampo, for having kids naman, ilang taon napo kayo both?

 

[Joana88]

I think pakasala as civil, about money mahirap talaga Dyan magdecide or heart to heart talk parents mo kase baka mag tampo, for having kids naman, ilang taon napo kayo both?

ayaw namin sa Civil, gusto namin sa simbahan para may basbas.... kahit naman po i heart to heart talk po.. alam ko maintindihan po nila ako pero po, di ko sila matalikuran,,, nabibigatan lang po ako, gusto ko lang naman na tumulong din ang mga kapatid sa suportahan ako pero wala eh... tigas ng mukha or iwan ko... bakit inaasa nila masyado sa akin..lahat

 

[plhbg1]

sabihin nating, maraming anak pero mga iresponsible, parang wala na pakialam sa mga magulang namin, pwede rin sabihin may mga pamilya na sila...or may mga anak na....at ako ang nagpasan ngayon kasi ako ang huling magaasawa

so if nakaya ng parents mo na buhayin ang napakaraming anak bakit sila bubuhayin ng mga anak boss? it doesn't follow a correct logic, are you sure that your services are needed by your parents?

 

[Joana88]

so if nakaya ng parents mo na buhayin ang napakaraming anak bakit sila bubuhayin ng mga anak boss? it doesn't follow a correct logic, are you sure that your services are needed by your parents?

yes kasi matatanda na sila, wala na silang mga trabaho ,

 

[plhbg1]

yes kasi matatanda na sila, wala na silang mga trabaho ,

wala silang nakuhang benefits sa trabaho nila boss? SSS GSIS etc.?

 

[Soul2908]

Family planning. Kung gusto nyo magpakasal at dun kayo sasaya, why not. Iexplain mo nalang sa kanya na hindi ka pa redy magkaanak dahi gusto mo muna suportahan pa ang parents mo. Kung mahal ka nya maiintindihan naman nya yun. At kung mahal ka nya, susuportahan at tutulungan ka nya sa mga goals mo in life. I suggest bago kayo magpakasal, iexplain mo muna yubg situation sa kanya then you can go from there. Wag madaliin ang pag aanak, mahirap lalo na kung di pa kayo ready at lalo na na may iba ka pang priorities. Wedding is a symbol of an eternal love, a promise to each other, and a proof of your love for each other. Di naman porque nagpakasal na kayo mag aanak na agad kayo diba?

Family planning. Kung gusto nyo magpakasal at dun kayo sasaya, why not. Iexplain mo nalang sa kanya na hindi ka pa redy magkaanak dahi gusto mo muna suportahan pa ang parents mo. Kung mahal ka nya maiintindihan naman nya yun. At kung mahal ka nya, susuportahan at tutulungan ka nya sa mga goals mo in life. I suggest bago kayo magpakasal, iexplain mo muna yubg situation sa kanya then you can go from there. Wag madaliin ang pag aanak, mahirap lalo na kung di pa kayo ready at lalo na na may iba ka pang priorities. Wedding is a symbol of an eternal love, a promise to each other, and a proof of your love for each other. Di naman porque nagpakasal na kayo mag aanak na agad kayo diba?

Just speaking from my experience, I'm 25 turning 26 this Aug. 29 and may 2 years old ako. Most will say na yun naman ang age na dapat may pamilya ka na. But for me depende kasi talaga sa tao. Kung financialky stable ka ba at kaya mo mag suporta then why not diba. Settling down does not also mean na kailangan mo na din mag anak. If you're in you 30's at nagmamadali ka na din mag anak then I think it will really be hard for you na suportahan pa ang parents mo. Magamda nyan mag ipon ka muna, then try to open a small business so you can at least have a passive income then idedicate mo yung kikitain nun for your parents, if you have a 9 to 5 job then it's better. Kung nagbabalak ka mag open nalang ng business at iwan yung 9 to 5 job mo, Wag. Having a passive income is good, but not enough. Maganda yung may kita ka din sa regular work mo. Most people doesn't have this option kase kada sweldo nila napupunta na sa mga bills, needs ng anak, pambayad ng utang. So I suggest ganon gawin mo. Try to open a small business while keeping your 9 to 5 job. Sa una mahirap pero once kumikita ka na, you can hire 1 or 2 persons na mag babantay ng business mo. Then focus ka nalang sa 9 to 5 job mo.

 

[Joana88]

Family planning. Kung gusto nyo magpakasal at dun kayo sasaya, why not. Iexplain mo nalang sa kanya na hindi ka pa redy magkaanak dahi gusto mo muna suportahan pa ang parents mo. Kung mahal ka nya maiintindihan naman nya yun. At kung mahal ka nya, susuportahan at tutulungan ka nya sa mga goals mo in life. I suggest bago kayo magpakasal, iexplain mo muna yubg situation sa kanya then you can go from there. Wag madaliin ang pag aanak, mahirap lalo na kung di pa kayo ready at lalo na na may iba ka pang priorities. Wedding is a symbol of an eternal love, a promise to each other, and a proof of your love for each other. Di naman porque nagpakasal na kayo mag aanak na agad kayo diba?


Just speaking from my experience, I'm 25 turning 26 this Aug. 29 and may 2 years old ako. Most will say na yun naman ang age na dapat may pamilya ka na. But for me depende kasi talaga sa tao. Kung financialky stable ka ba at kaya mo mag suporta then why not diba. Settling down does not also mean na kailangan mo na din mag anak. If you're in you 30's at nagmamadali ka na din mag anak then I think it will really be hard for you na suportahan pa ang parents mo. Magamda nyan mag ipon ka muna, then try to open a small business so you can at least have a passive income then idedicate mo yung kikitain nun for your parents, if you have a 9 to 5 job then it's better. Kung nagbabalak ka mag open nalang ng business at iwan yung 9 to 5 job mo, Wag. Having a passive income is good, but not enough. Maganda yung may kita ka din sa regular work mo. Most people doesn't have this option kase kada sweldo nila napupunta na sa mga bills, needs ng anak, pambayad ng utang. So I suggest ganon gawin mo. Try to open a small business while keeping your 9 to 5 job. Sa una mahirap pero once kumikita ka na, you can hire 1 or 2 persons na mag babantay ng business mo. Then focus ka nalang sa 9 to 5 job mo.

wow, brilliant idea, thank you po

wala silang nakuhang benefits sa trabaho nila boss? SSS GSIS etc.?

mahirap asahann yang SSS lods

 

[darknight0909]

nakooo hirap nang ganyan, if ikaw lng inaasahan kahit magpakasal ka, no choice kaparin na tulungan sila.
kasi kung wala na silang work, at wala namang ibang tumutulong sa kanila.

ikaw nalang talaga maasahan especially if matatanda na.

Maybe pwd naman mangyari din gusto mo however, need mo nga lang bawasan yung pag tulong pero di mo ititigil, bawasan molang ng konti kahit papano na magiging enough sa kanila..

 

[Joana88]

nakooo hirap nang ganyan, if ikaw lng inaasahan kahit magpakasal ka, no choice kaparin na tulungan sila.
kasi kung wala na silang work, at wala namang ibang tumutulong sa kanila.

ikaw nalang talaga maasahan especially if matatanda na.

Maybe pwd naman mangyari din gusto mo however, need mo nga lang bawasan yung pag tulong pero di mo ititigil, bawasan molang ng konti kahit papano na magiging enough sa kanila..

parang nga talaga ang mangyayari, pero magtatayo ako ng kahit konting negosyo tulad ng sinasabi ni

Soul2908 , sa tingin ko mas maganda plano yun para may pag lilibangan sila or sila na mismo magpalago​

 

[darknight0909]

parang nga talaga ang mangyayari, pero magtatayo ako ng kahit konting negosyo tulad ng sinasabi ni

Soul2908 , sa tingin ko mas maganda plano yun para may pag lilibangan sila or sila na mismo magpalago​

Good thing to.. para di mo mabigay lahhat ng attention mo sa kanila... i know you love them pero its time for you to think of yourself too. Good luck! I hope the best for you!!

 

[plhbg1]

mahirap asahann yang SSS lods

so you mean solo mo lahat financial kasi wala benefits kahit SSS or senior citizen man lang?