#joketaym

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  1. Y

    Closed Damit kamo :p

    Hehehe. Tamaan na ang matamaan :p
  2. Y

    Closed A teacher

    Teacher: Juan , what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Juan: A TEACHER MAAM Teacher: :vamp:
  3. Y

    Closed H to O

    Teacher: Juan what is the chemical formula for water? Juan: H I J K L M N O Teacher: What are you talking about? Juan: Yesterday you said H to O. Teacher: :nailbiting:
  4. Y

    Closed Maria and Map

    Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America Maria: Here it is! Teacher: Correct! Now class who discovered America? Class: Mariaaa! Teacher::cry:
  5. Y

    Closed Father

    Teacher: How old is your father? Kid: He is 6 years Teacher: What?? How is this possible? Kid: He became father only when i was born :) Teacher::shifty:
  6. Y

    Closed Sa Ospital

    NARS : Duktor, bakit nyo tinanggihan yung pasyente kanina? DUKTOR : Saan?, sa Delivery room? NARS : Hindi, yung nasa Receiving room. DUKTOR : Ahhh, yung bakla’. NARS : Opo, Baka sabihin may discrimination tayo, porke bakla siya. DUKTOR : Nakuuu!, ano naman ang raraspahin ko sa kanya? Nars...
  7. Y

    Closed maganda in a sentence

    Teacher : Use the word "beautiful" in a sentence? Student : "My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?" Teacher : Thank you, it's very flattering. Now, translate it in Tagalog. Student : "Ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?" Teacher: :shifty:
  8. Y

    Closed Anniversary

    Misis: Hon, anung gift mo sa akin sa silver anniversary natin? Mister: Dadalhin kita sa China. Misis: Wow, ang sweet naman. Eh, sa golden anniversary natin? Mister: Susunduin na kita. :)
  9. Y

    Closed Hearing aid

    Pare: Ang galing ng nabili kong hearing aid. Hi tech at ang lakas ng dating! Kumpare: Magkano ang bili mo? Pare: Oo, kanina lang Kumpare: Hi-tech nga. Hahahaha!
  10. Y

    Closed si madre at padre

    Madre: Baka magbunga ang pagkakasala natin, Padre. Natatakot ako... Padre: Ipaubaya natin ang lahat sa nasa itaas. Di nya tayo pababayaan. -Sakristan: Hoy, huwag niyo akong idamay jan naglilinis lang ako ng kampana dito sa itaas! Hahaha!
  11. Y

    Closed Darna

    Juan: Nang girlfriend ko pa lang ang misis ko ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Darna dahil seksi sya. Ngayon ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Dorna. Pedro: Bakit Dorna? Juan: Kasing lapad na kasi siya ng DOOr namin :) - Ngek! Hehe!
  12. Y

    Closed Sardinas

    Mister: Hon, anung ulam natin? Misis: Andyan sa mesa, pumili ka. Mister: Hon, sardinas lang ang andito. Anu bang pagpipilian ko? Misis: Pumili ka kung kakain, o magrereklamo ka! Mister: Kakain kaya ako. I love you Hon :) -Hahaha!
  13. Y

    Closed Hokage moves ni Gf

    Gf: Binabalaan kita, malapit nang dumating ang Daddy ko! Bf: Ha, eh wala naman akong ginawang masama ah? Gf: Oo nga, kaya kung may binabalak ka gawin mo na. Bf: Olrayt. (y)(y)
  14. Y

    Closed Genie in the bottle

    Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here." -Hahaha.
  15. Y

    Closed Drunk

    3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd...
  16. Y

    Closed 911

    Funny Joke Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning. Ops! Haha!
  17. Y

    Closed ways to make a woman happy

    70 ways to make a woman happy: Number 1 is shopping. And the rest is 69. Haha. I totally disagree to this. :p
  18. Y

    Closed Meaning of lol

    my mom still thinks that LOL means lots of love. she sent me a message saying: Your grandad has just died, LOL :nailbiting::p
  19. Y

    Closed Holiday

    Reporter: Any similarities between Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio and Ninoy Aquino? Erap: All I know is that they all died during a holiday! That’s all I know… :) Haha. Erap for President!
  20. Y

    Closed Babies

    A man carrying 6 babies in a train. A lady sitting next to him asked,"are these ur babies? "No I'm a ****** salesman & these are Customer Complaints.. -Hehehe..
  21. Y

    Closed Dirty things

    Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio Wife: :cry: ...hahahhaha
  22. Y

    Closed Tissue paper

    Girl: Baby I am wet. Boy: Want a paper towel? Girl: No, I want more than that Boy: Want 2 paper towels? Girl: No, baby I want something big and round Boy: Damn you want the whole roll? -Ops. Hehehe..
  23. Y

    Closed Wrong number

    A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. "Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" "Wrong number," replied the girl. -Grabe naman hehehe...
  24. Y

    Closed Bank account

    Man: I could go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there? Man: I offer you myself. Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts. Man: I want to share everything with you. Woman: Let's start from your bank account. Hahaha. Tama :p
  25. Y

    Closed Taxi

    A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi. Hehehe! Sabagay.
  26. Y

    Closed Lola sa bus

    Isang araw sumakay ng Bus si Lola Konduktor: Lola psensiya na po kasi puno na! Payag po ba kayo ng Patayo? Lola: Tinamaan ka ng Lintek kung inabot mo lang ang kabataan ko, kahit patuwad payag ako! -Hahaha! Nganga ang konduktor.
  27. Y

    Closed Gf

    GF Umiiyak: Bakit natin ginawa ito? Hindi na ako ****** at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa. BF: Ano? Isang beses lang naman, ah. GF: Bakit, hindi ba natin uulitin mamaya? :) Hahaha. Excited si ate.
  28. Y

    Closed Potato

    Two wives are buying of gulay in the local market. Wife 1: You know mare, whenever I see a potato naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko. Wife 2: Bakit??? Ganyan ba kalaki??? Wife 1: Hindi, ganyan kadumi!!! Naku. Kailangan ng steel brush yan. Hahaha
  29. Y

    Closed Phone a friend

    Mag-asawa naguusap... Husband: dear, puwede ka ba ngayon? Wife: di ako pwede, pagod ako! Husband: Is that final?! Wife: FINAL!!! Husband: okay, can I phone a friend?! Hahaha! Patay si mister.
  30. Y

    Closed Palda

    Kapag ang palda ng babae ay may hati sa likod, ang ibig niyang sabihin ay, “Halika, sundan mo ako!” Kapag ang hati ng palda ay nasa gilid, “Halika, tabihan mo ako.” Kapag ang hati ng palda ay nasa harap, “Halika, pumasok ka!” Hahaha. Grabe buti nalang hindi ako mahilig magpalda.
  31. Y

    Closed Sa kanto

    Apo: Lola bat ang tagal mo. Lola: Muntik na ako marape kanina sa kanto. Buti nalang may pera ako. Apo: Binigay mo ang pera? Lola: Hindi. Nagmotel kami. Nakakahiya kaya sa kanto. :D hehehe! Laughtrip.
  32. Y

    Closed Drawing

    Image by oblivion25 posted Jan 7, 2016 at 3:49 PM Hehehe!!

Did you know?

Credit is the trust which allows one party to provide money or resources to another party wherein the second party does not reimburse the first party immediately, but promises either to repay or return those resources at a later date.

Lenders want to make sure all their bases are covered before they extend you credit. That means they may look at factors other than your credit score to determine whether to lend you money. Your employment status also can play a role: If your income is too low or you haven’t been at your current workplace long, those factors could weigh against you.

Errors can come in a variety of forms. You may not have been credited for a payment you made, or you may have been charged for a purchase you didn’t make. A debt might be listed more than once, or your balance might be wrong.
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