Shinzenryu
Eternal Poster
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2015
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So ayun, kinasal na nga yung taong naging importante sa akin noon. and the worst part is that we are neighbors. i could hear them celebrating. and isa pang worst is that sila yung bukambibig ng pamilya ko, (hindi alam ng pamilya ang about sa amin) and in fact, they're preparing now para pumunta sa kanila to congratulate them and i refused to go, of course. hindi naman na bago sa kanila na hindi talaga ako sumasama sa mga lakad nila. i feel like getting sick, literally. i just want to disappear.
This is actually the second time na kinasal sila. A week ago, kinasal sila sa huwes. and i survived that one. maybe because walang celebration and all. i thought im going to survive this too, but i failed. i f*cking failed. and im overwhelmed with emotions. i just want this to get over with. im trying to accept everything that i cant do anything about it, i just have to live with it. there's part of me that wants to accept the situation but nangingibabaw parin yung demonyo sa utak ko, telling me not to surrender without a fight. im hurt and i also want them to hurt. let them feel what i feel.
I spend alot of time inside my head i even argue with myself. just making things clear im not crazy.. at least not yet. But hindi talaga ako pinapatulog ng utak ko. there's so many things that i want to say to her.. to him. hurt them with words. cause i feel like thats the only way to stop the pain.
And oh, there's one thing that i learned from this, is that boys, men.. we are all h.o.r.n.y m.o.t.h.e.r.f.u.c.k.e.r.s. no matter how "religious" a guy is, we all have one weakness, S. E. X. i mean, yung napangasawa ng babaeng naging important sa akin is a son of a pastor, he's also a youth leader. the girl's also super religious and yet they gave into temptation. and they cant change the fact that they rushed the wedding to save themselves from shame. and im not an exception, i'm a h.o.r.n.y m.o.t.h.e.r.f.u.c.k.e.r. too. and im actually relieved that im not in his position cause im sure as hell not ready for any responsibilities. to be fair though, they're already in the right age (25 years old to be exact). so girls out there, dont be too complacent. you might say, "hindi yan magagawa ng boyfriend ko." or "we have god" or "we're very religious." nope. just nope. he's just waiting for an oppurtunity. an opening (no pun intended). and girls you have the right to say no if things get hot and heavy between you and the boyfriend. it's your body, your choice. and guys, a no is not a yes. a no is a no. dont force yourself on your partner without his or her explicit, clear consent. cause thats straight up rape.
Anyway, just sharing what's on mind cause there's alot going on up there. and i feel like im going to explode.
This is actually the second time na kinasal sila. A week ago, kinasal sila sa huwes. and i survived that one. maybe because walang celebration and all. i thought im going to survive this too, but i failed. i f*cking failed. and im overwhelmed with emotions. i just want this to get over with. im trying to accept everything that i cant do anything about it, i just have to live with it. there's part of me that wants to accept the situation but nangingibabaw parin yung demonyo sa utak ko, telling me not to surrender without a fight. im hurt and i also want them to hurt. let them feel what i feel.
I spend alot of time inside my head i even argue with myself. just making things clear im not crazy.. at least not yet. But hindi talaga ako pinapatulog ng utak ko. there's so many things that i want to say to her.. to him. hurt them with words. cause i feel like thats the only way to stop the pain.
And oh, there's one thing that i learned from this, is that boys, men.. we are all h.o.r.n.y m.o.t.h.e.r.f.u.c.k.e.r.s. no matter how "religious" a guy is, we all have one weakness, S. E. X. i mean, yung napangasawa ng babaeng naging important sa akin is a son of a pastor, he's also a youth leader. the girl's also super religious and yet they gave into temptation. and they cant change the fact that they rushed the wedding to save themselves from shame. and im not an exception, i'm a h.o.r.n.y m.o.t.h.e.r.f.u.c.k.e.r. too. and im actually relieved that im not in his position cause im sure as hell not ready for any responsibilities. to be fair though, they're already in the right age (25 years old to be exact). so girls out there, dont be too complacent. you might say, "hindi yan magagawa ng boyfriend ko." or "we have god" or "we're very religious." nope. just nope. he's just waiting for an oppurtunity. an opening (no pun intended). and girls you have the right to say no if things get hot and heavy between you and the boyfriend. it's your body, your choice. and guys, a no is not a yes. a no is a no. dont force yourself on your partner without his or her explicit, clear consent. cause thats straight up rape.
Anyway, just sharing what's on mind cause there's alot going on up there. and i feel like im going to explode.