The word ******* (in North American English) or arsehole (in all other major varieties of the English language), is a vulgarism used to describe the anus, and often used pejoratively (as a type of synecdoche) to refer to people.
Am I the ******* for setting boundaries with my family?
I'm sure we've all been there before. You're trying to establish some boundaries with your family, but they just don't understand why you can't always be available to them.
It feels like I'm constantly struggling to make sure my needs...