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On a cold winter's day, two hedgehogs cuddle close together for warm. But soon their spikes hurt the other. So they separate again. But then the cold forces them back together, and of course they end up hurting each other again.
So the hedgehogs ultimately find an equilibrium: far enough to not be hurt by spikes, close enough to be somewhat warm. A compromise that leaves them unsatisfied, but it's better than nothing.
Schopenhauer argues that it's better to be alone, to be your own source of warmth. While also realising that such is not possible for the vast majority of people: humans are social animals. So he advises us to 'keep our distance'.
In a human relationship, what does the hedgehog spikes represent?
More often I think it's our tendency to demand certain behaviors from the other, to make us feel better about being ourselves. In that regard we are so often empowering that other for a responsibility to appease our own sense of well-being.
In that case it's not "closeness" which causes discomfort; but a misplaced burden assigned to that partner to behave in a way that will not make you sad, angry, disappointed, or fearful. There are no real spikes if the partner is too busy to reply to a chat, or if they do not like our opinion, or if they won't stop noticing our mistakes. If we feel poked in these cases, that's our own spikes poking us. The abrasion is from our creation, not theirs.
Ironically, hedgehogs don't actually poke each other when snuggling. But then again they don't over analyze whether their partner is responsible for their own well being.
So the hedgehogs ultimately find an equilibrium: far enough to not be hurt by spikes, close enough to be somewhat warm. A compromise that leaves them unsatisfied, but it's better than nothing.
Schopenhauer argues that it's better to be alone, to be your own source of warmth. While also realising that such is not possible for the vast majority of people: humans are social animals. So he advises us to 'keep our distance'.
In a human relationship, what does the hedgehog spikes represent?
More often I think it's our tendency to demand certain behaviors from the other, to make us feel better about being ourselves. In that regard we are so often empowering that other for a responsibility to appease our own sense of well-being.
In that case it's not "closeness" which causes discomfort; but a misplaced burden assigned to that partner to behave in a way that will not make you sad, angry, disappointed, or fearful. There are no real spikes if the partner is too busy to reply to a chat, or if they do not like our opinion, or if they won't stop noticing our mistakes. If we feel poked in these cases, that's our own spikes poking us. The abrasion is from our creation, not theirs.
Ironically, hedgehogs don't actually poke each other when snuggling. But then again they don't over analyze whether their partner is responsible for their own well being.