You're understanding of reality, life, and even death is based on your own account. We respect that even if most of us do not agree on some of your thoughts. We all have endless definitions on how to accept our existence. But most of us struggle to live till our last breath.
At some point in my life, I too was tempted the same way you do. But I soon realized I was wrong. I have to face reality headstrong, relax, think straight, stop the whining, and do something about it over and over again. I want to live, I don't want to die yet, but I'm not afraid to die. Death is the least of my worries and it will not come from me. That's how species like us live-on, don't you agree?
Life is a combination of good, bad, in-betweens, is dynamic and full of surprises in many ways. Sometimes you're in control, sometimes you're not. Sometimes it's pleasant, sometimes it's not... It varies in different degrees depending on how you handle it, or what fate leads you to as some others say. What matters is we live with our remaining times on this earth. And that is why we survive/grow with what life provides to keep up with the never-ending challenges. Life is really hard, dying is easy. That's it! It's all up to you how to face "your" own reality...to continue or end your "breed". It's your choice!