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Closed New oxford dictionary (ay totoo eto salamat sa magbabasa)

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-simplice-

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Did you know that the oxford dictionary updated the definition of the following words:

Divorce: future tense of marriage.

*********: a pinch of ******* rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Lecture: an art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: the confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: the hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Dictionary: a place where success comes before work.

Conference room: a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic: a book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: a curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: a place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: the only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc: a sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to dicide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: the name men give to their mistakes.

Atom bomb: an invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: a fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: a person who tells you to got to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: a person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: a person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway, "See i am not injured yet"

Miser: a person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: a banker provided by nature.

Criminal: a guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

Boss: someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: a person who kills your ills by *****, and kills you with his bills.
 
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