-simplice-
Forum Expert
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2018
- Posts
- 6,073
- Reaction
- 2,210
- Points
- 2,502
Did you know that the oxford dictionary updated the definition of the following words:
Divorce: future tense of marriage.
*********: a pinch of ******* rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Lecture: an art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: the confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: the hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary: a place where success comes before work.
Conference room: a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: a book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: a curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: a place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: the only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc: a sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to dicide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: the name men give to their mistakes.
Atom bomb: an invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: a fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: a person who tells you to got to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: a person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: a person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway, "See i am not injured yet"
Miser: a person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: a banker provided by nature.
Criminal: a guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.
Boss: someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: a person who kills your ills by *****, and kills you with his bills.
Divorce: future tense of marriage.
*********: a pinch of ******* rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Lecture: an art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: the confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: the hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary: a place where success comes before work.
Conference room: a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: a book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: a curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: a place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: the only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc: a sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to dicide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: the name men give to their mistakes.
Atom bomb: an invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: a fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat: a person who tells you to got to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: a person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: a person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway, "See i am not injured yet"
Miser: a person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: a banker provided by nature.
Criminal: a guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.
Boss: someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: a person who kills your ills by *****, and kills you with his bills.