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Tutorial How to Overcome Doubts in a Relationship

Professora Akira

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Doubts can sometimes be a slow poison that eventually kills a relationship.

Yan ang isa sa mga factor that weakens a relationship.. Once it starts and if it is not addressed right away, doubts can escalate into something bigger and more irreparable. Frustrations and anger, the products of doubts, will also manifest in ways that will not only hurt you but will also hurt the person you love. So how to stop this?

1. Instead of guessing for answers, ask the right questions.​


Yung pagdududa it start with “not knowing” phase. Kadalasan kasi,people try to guess for answers and come up with conclusions that often feed their doubts. The best way to prevent this is dapat magtanong ka.Asking the right question right away.Ask your partner about something that has been bothering you. Make sure that you express yourself well. Don’t leave things unsaid. Most importantly, remember that the purpose of asking is to arrive at the truth, and not to accuse anyone of anything.

2. Stop "Overthinking and start "Understanding".​


. You should stick to facts. You also have to change how you see things and be more considerate. For instance, there’s a better way of phrasing “My girlfriend/boyfriend forgot that we’re meeting today because she does not have time for me anymore. She/he is always working and she/he is taking me for granted.” Instead, see it from a perspective of “My girlfriend/boyfriend has been working hard lately. Should I give them time to take a break? Or maybe I could send them a care package or have food delivered?” Instead of looking for what they fail to give you, think of what they need and what you can do for them.

3. Always try to see things from your partner’s perspective.​


Doubts in a relationship often start when the other person chooses to believe what their thoughts are telling them instead of focusing on what their partner has to say. To overcome doubts in a relationship, wag ka masyado magpokus sa sarili mong mga pagdududa.

4. Ask your partner how they are and how they feel especially after a fight.​


Unresolved issues,yan lagi nag cacause mg doubts eh. You need at least talk to each other.Check on your partner and see how they are feeling. This is important especially during or after a fight. If you did something that hurt them, give them the opportunity to vent out or air their side. Sometimes, you also have to give them space before they can better communicate how they feel. Once you’re both ready to talk, make sure to resolve the issue, learn from it, and move on

5. Love yourself and know that they see you as you.​


Some people will doubt that they are “seen” and acknowledged. This is heightened when a significant other fails to meet their expectations. When this happens, remind yourself why your partner chose you. Remind yourself that there’s a special reason that they love you as you are.

6. Know that you are worthy of love and affection.​


Doubts in a relationship are also caused by self-doubt and the lack of self-love. Most people don’t love themself enough so they think that they are unworthy and unlovable. They believe that since they do not deserve love, they think that it’s just a matter of time when their partner realizes this. Think of how your partner chose to stay because they know you deserve a second chance. Also, remember how you made them happy when you made that genuine effort to be better.


7. Talk to the people who genuinely care about you.​


When in doubt, talk to someone you trust like close friends and your family who can see your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. They will be the ones to tell you, in all honesty, and sincerity, that your fears and doubts are irrational. Turn to the people you trust. Believe in what they say because you know that they will always want the best for you.

8. Be confident about what you bring into the relationship.​


Being confident that you contribute to the growth of the relationship is one of the best ways to overcome doubts. You are doing your part and you are doing your best. Be proud of that and remember how you make your significant other happy. Take comfort in the fact that your mere presence makes a difference in their everyday life.

9. Remember the reasons why they love you.​


Remember that you are special and that you are loved. Tandaan mo lagi kung bakit sa dinami dami ng tao sa mundo ikaw ang pinili. Just reminding yourself that you are with this very special soul can help you overcome those unhealthy thoughts of doubts. If you can’t lift yourself up, trust that your partner will hold your hand as you go through the bad times.

10. Trust your partner and believe in their genuine intentions.​


Trust that your partner only wants what’s best for both of you. Sometimes, people doubt the intentions of their significant other, especially if it’s something that involves being more responsible and choosing your needs over wants. These include simple activities. Examples are getting more sleep instead of staying up all night to talk or not spending time together on weekends so you both can be with friends or family. Always trust the process, don’t doubt the present, and look forward to the results of your sacrifice.

11. Learn to be respectful in a relationship.

You have to know how to keep your partner and how to treat them well. People stay in relationships that make them feel respected and loved. Respect, most of the time underrated, can make your relationship stronger. A stronger bond will give you the reassurance that your relationship is headed to the right direction.

12. Acknowledge their efforts to make your relationship work.​


Many people develop doubt in their relationship because they dismiss the idea that their significant other is also trying their best. Minsan naiisip nils na sila na lang lahat nag eeffort sa relasyon. This makes them feel alone and exhausted, ,nakakapagod diba?especially if they think that their efforts go unnoticed. If this is happening to you, try to see the things that your partner did and continue to do to make the relationship work. After all, people show love through different love languages. Understand what language they are speaking. Most importantly, make sure that they also know what love language you express yourself in. Seeing their efforts will help you overcome your doubt.


By identifying these things, you’ll be able to prevent this negative quality from taking out the best part of yourself and your partner. Hopefully, this thread helped you navigate through this emotion and led you to taking the first step to healing. Stay strong!💚








excerpt & paraphrase from Truelovetips
 
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I think kapag masyadong emotional ang tao, literally na emotional na emotional, mas incline ang tao na mag overthink na mag overthink. But tipong tao na medio pagka rational ay iyon ang sa tingin ko na hindi nag ooverthink at minsan na hindi nakikita ng tao na nagseselos na pala ang partner na rational mag isip pero nagseselos din siya na kahit papaano.

Sa personality ata. Ganun. Meron dibang different personality type.

Katulad ng bagay ang idealist personality type sa rational personality type. Bagay naman ang artisan personality type sa guardian personality type.

Idealist personality type daw kase ay tipong emotional at saka idealistic. Ganun ang pagkakaintindi ko at bagay siya sa rational personality type dahil sa pagiging rational niya at ang pagiging curious raw niya sa feelings at emotions ng idealist personality type ng tao, kaya bagay silang dalawa.

So kapag ang tao ay idealist personality type at extremely maka emotional at nag ooverthink ay hindi na ooffend ata ang tao na meron rational personality type. Parang mas curious siya sa feelings ng ganun tao at dahil sa ganoon personality ng partner niya, mas lalo ata siyang na iin love o loves pa rin niya. So bagay silang dalawa. Iyon ang pagkakaunawa ko.

Ang pagkakaunawa ko naman sa artisian personality type ay meron pagka assertive o liberated ang dating. Bagay sa kanya ang guardian personality type dahil sila ang type of person na mahilig mag guide at mag support. Tipong taga guide at support sa tao na meron artisan personality type. Iyon ang pagkakaintindi ko so siguro na bagay ang tao na meron artisian personality type at ang guardian personality type.

I guess sa personality din kung bagay silang dalawa o hindi, o kung successful sila in the future o hindi.

Ako, based on personality quiz online, guardian personality type ako. Kaya pala puros crush ko is lalakeng assertive o lalakeng liberated. Ewan ko lang. Pero iyon lang ang feel ko. Haha.​
 
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