GF NA NAKIKI VC SA MGA LALAKE

[XenpaY]

Oo nmn. bakit nmn hindi ok un? Toxic possesive bf lang nmn takot sa ganyan. At kung ung gf mo kailangan mo bantayan sa mga ganyang bagay, wlang kwentang gf din yun. So hayaan mo sya sa gusto nya.

Been married for a while now. Pinagdaanan ko ang problema ni ts. I was in his position and also in his gf position.

Alam mo kaya nadidisappoint ang mga tao, it is because they try to assign their happiness on others, especially their partners. They try to change their partners according to their personal ideals. Most of the time they feel like experts thinking "dapat ang partner ko ganito ganyan.." but they fail to think what they fail to change within themself. They end up wasting time with the wrong partner just to end up breaking up without realizing the true reason why. It is easy to make excuses "kasi nag cheat", "kasi walang time", "kasi ldr", pero ang totoo, they built the relationship in false premises and weak foundation.
Love is commitment. Not a feeling.
Love is voluntary. Not control.
Love is growing fully. Not stopping each other from growing.
Love is found. Not enforced.
Love is a continuos transaction. It is not about loyalty.
Love is a choice from many choices. Not a choice left standing after cutting of the rest.

That is as realistic as it can get. More realistic than our fairy-tale like expectations, na sayo lang ang attention nya forever after.

It is really misogynistic to think na your partnership is about you stopping her from being a prey of other boys. May utak din ang mga babae. May sarili silang buhay. They can be sêxual as they want and that does not take away sa pagkatao nila. STOP THINKING THAT MEN ARE THE ARBITER OF WOMEN'S CHOICES AND EXPOSURE TO OTHER MEN MAKES THEM SOMEWHAT DIRTY.

naku po, ang point ko po is we must change what should be change, applicable to men and women. Hindi ko po sinabi na mag bago yung girl para sa boy, ang sinabi ko baguhin nya yung "dapat" / "should" ,since in a relationship may rules parin po eh, may 10 commandments nga sa bible to maintain the peace and order sa kalupaan, sa relasyon pa kaya haha, I'm really sad that you are in a long term relationship pero hindi po parin nainthindihan or hindi mo kayang tangapin na dapat may baguhin sa relasyon , if we are stupid or not matured enough to think better in terms of relationships then we must not commit in the first place diba? why go into a relationship na yung mga alam mong makaka insecure sa partner mo is gagawin mo parin pag kayo na? you know what, that girl is not only ruining their relationship, it also affects the future relationship ng boy if mag hihiwalay sila, worse is kahit tangapin ng boy yung ginagawa ng babae meron at merong time parin na maiinsecure sya . like I said life is a bittersweet . Not saying na we must control our partners, I’m just saying na when we are in relationship, be aware naman sana kung yung actions natin is appropriate ba or iba na yung impact sa partner natin.

talking to each other also helps na mag grow sila not only as a couple but also an individual, what if hinahayaan mo sya tapos gumawa ng kalokohan yung mga kaibigan nya tapos nadamay sya? like I said earlier(yes she have her own brain to decide, but sometimes people also need some advices and messages on other people in order for them to decide better), we should be open on changes and talking to each other what should not be done and should be done. since para sa future lang din naman nila yun.

 

[Kaplok Kaplok]

I'm really sad that you are in a long term relationship pero hindi po parin nainthindihan or hindi mo kayang tangapin na dapat may baguhin sa relasyon , if we are stupid or not matured enough to think better in terms of relationships then we must not commit in the first place diba?

I did not say you there is nothing to change. I am just saying it is your self that you have to change. I did not even say wag nyo pag usapan as a partner. I am only saying na wala tayo sa position pagbawalan ang partner natin.

Not saying na we must control our partners, I’m just saying na when we are in relationship, be aware naman sana kung yung actions natin is appropriate ba or iba na yung impact sa partner natin.

Yes we are on the same page. Pero sino ba pinapayuhan mo? Si ts ba o yung gf ni ts? It is not right na payuhan mo si ts ng mga standards na iseset nya para sa gf nya.

you know what, that girl is not only ruining their relationship, it also affects the future relationship ng boy if mag hihiwalay sila, worse is kahit tangapin ng boy yung ginagawa ng babae meron at merong time parin na maiinsecure sya .

That is a wrong view. If may ginagawa man si girl na makakasira sa relation nila, the relationship is already broken to begin with. Binibigyan nyo lng ng false sense of power si ts sa mga payo nyo, at mas traumatic yan because in the end he will blame himself (kung magkahiwalayan man) for not doing enough. At sa totoo lang yung mga payo nyo na ganyan might make him overly paranoid, he might ending up destroying the relationship himself. Maging opprtunity pa yan na sakanya babagsak ang blame.

talking to each other also helps na mag grow sila not only as a couple but also an individual, what if hinahayaan mo sya tapos gumawa ng kalokohan yung mga kaibigan nya tapos nadamay sya? like I said earlier(yes she have her own brain to decide, but sometimes people also need some advices and messages on other people in order for them to decide better), we should be open on changes and talking to each other what should not be done and should be done. since para sa future lang din naman nila yun.

Kung makokontak mo si ate girl i will also say the same thing. Ang problema si ts ang kausap natin. Showing hom this advice is not helpful and might even be counterproductive. It will just add to the paranoia he is already experiencing, plus it might also give him a false sense of entitlement.

 

[Falln]

haha alam mo na dapat sagot jan idol