Quantum Supercomputer
Eternal Poster
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2017
- Posts
- 740
- Reaction
- 250
- Points
- 339
- Age
- 23
Do I have friends?
Author : umaru666
This one started at nowhere.
As I wrote this so suddenly, nobody cares, no... It is not that no one wants to read this after I've pulled this out, It is just, for some reason, I can't show this recklessly to anyone, but why's that? Tsundere wasn't I? but before you'll go scroll this one faster as If it's like you are rushing for no reason, let me introduce first myself, I'm Hayashida Riku, and this is my life story... indeed.
Due to self-questioning, I've discovered something beyond to anyone, and I think I'm the greatest man in this entire universe, so therefore, I cursed everyone in my line of sight, but looking down, and my vision solely focusing on the ground with my steps counting as I reach further to my destination. I don't have friends, and the reason why, I can't talk.
"Hey Hayashida-kun, do you have a ballpen?"
This is my classmate, I don't know her name yet, but It seems she knows mine, yes a school girl is talking to me, right, I'm inside of school.
But seemingly my voice trapped inside my throat, and as I handing my extra ballpen to her, a school boy eventually appeared, handed a ballpen to her, but that's not happened, and suddenly, I'm exhausting, my breath speeding up, and sweat covered my face as my hand stucked and floating into the air next to her.
"Hayashida-kun?"
My name is being called repeatedly.
"Hey Hayashida-kun, how can I get your ballpen, if you gripped tightly like that?"
My consciousness shockingly go back and at the same time my face looked pale and shocked, of course according to her expression.
"What's happened?"
How creepy am I?
And from that, my ballpen stucked in my hand, and slowly back to his own self, and the girl who needs a pen, reasonably borrowed to others, If others don't have extra, she have a friends to borrow to, right? so that's not a problem.
This is not the first time I've experienced this kind of feeling, and yes I'm aware, I'm shy, but It's too strong to called something like shy, It is beyond.
Moving forward, I recalled a memory being worth mentioning here. One day, In a room of a particular school building, when everyone is busy attending class, while my section class, doesn't have one, and this is called vacant. All my classmates are here inside of this particular empty room, no teacher but however it is a good room to teach to. Everyone here, laughing so hard, talking and chatting to each other, and playing an interesting online game through phone, and I'm one of them playing this, but the difference is, I'm completely alone in this empty chairs surrounds me, but luckily, a boy from the bunch of playing this online game, approach and noticed that I'm playing the game exactly what they are playing.
"You're emperor V, right?"
He's correct, my current rank in this game is Emperor 5, which is the highest rank in this game, and I'm slaying it smoothly while watching my gameplay. but I didn't reply.
But I want to.
The boy vanished, after his friends called him, and I'm back being alone with myself, why I can't speak normaly like them? please, If there's a God, help me out there, but no God replies.
But I'm happy that I'm being noticed. I will mark this boy face and print it inside my head. He's a slight-good looking, and informal attire, even though the majority of students wearing polos and slacks are quite huge.
The pressure is reducing unhappily. I need to take a break, and think.
Wait...
As I looking backward and recalling failed memories, my eyes are accidentally teared up, saltwaters slowly falling down running to my face.
One of the best memories has arrived.
"Hey everyone, come here! , we need to take a graduation picture!"
My classmates gathering like a magnetic field in one vicinity, with a tree shadow covering them from sunlight.
Our teacher is in the center of the ideal picture we can have, while students gathered and form a symmetrical position, from a tall student to short stature surrounds her, and actually I'm of them, in the right side of corner.
The cameraman, signalled, and the camera flicked at the same time, lights approached us in millisecond, and drammatically takes a shot, with different themes.
"Ok, wacky!"
I'm caught off-guard, I don't know how to pose a cringy stuff like that. Now, after all of that, five of my classmates suddenly, appeared in front of the cameran man, and bandwagon biased takes place, and I'm of them looking in the photo, that saved in that guys gallery.
My eyes steadily looking of that group picture, and As I expecting to see my face in the right side corner, there is no me in that photo, I looked severely, but I can't find my face in any picture of that cameraman, and that's unexpected. I didn't said anything, It is not a big deal, It's nothing important. But It is sad, actually... I'm trying hard to comfort myself, isn't I? It is nothing really.
Maybe I should go outside, and starts a new life by greeting my neighborhood.
"Ok class dismissed."
Without further ado, I'm going home.
--- ---
My entire childhood memories is great, the time I'm talking informaly, enjoying with my friends pranking adults in our street, playing and doing outdoor activity... with friends. Wait, do I have friends?
Author : umaru666
This one started at nowhere.
As I wrote this so suddenly, nobody cares, no... It is not that no one wants to read this after I've pulled this out, It is just, for some reason, I can't show this recklessly to anyone, but why's that? Tsundere wasn't I? but before you'll go scroll this one faster as If it's like you are rushing for no reason, let me introduce first myself, I'm Hayashida Riku, and this is my life story... indeed.
Due to self-questioning, I've discovered something beyond to anyone, and I think I'm the greatest man in this entire universe, so therefore, I cursed everyone in my line of sight, but looking down, and my vision solely focusing on the ground with my steps counting as I reach further to my destination. I don't have friends, and the reason why, I can't talk.
"Hey Hayashida-kun, do you have a ballpen?"
This is my classmate, I don't know her name yet, but It seems she knows mine, yes a school girl is talking to me, right, I'm inside of school.
But seemingly my voice trapped inside my throat, and as I handing my extra ballpen to her, a school boy eventually appeared, handed a ballpen to her, but that's not happened, and suddenly, I'm exhausting, my breath speeding up, and sweat covered my face as my hand stucked and floating into the air next to her.
"Hayashida-kun?"
My name is being called repeatedly.
"Hey Hayashida-kun, how can I get your ballpen, if you gripped tightly like that?"
My consciousness shockingly go back and at the same time my face looked pale and shocked, of course according to her expression.
"What's happened?"
How creepy am I?
And from that, my ballpen stucked in my hand, and slowly back to his own self, and the girl who needs a pen, reasonably borrowed to others, If others don't have extra, she have a friends to borrow to, right? so that's not a problem.
This is not the first time I've experienced this kind of feeling, and yes I'm aware, I'm shy, but It's too strong to called something like shy, It is beyond.
Moving forward, I recalled a memory being worth mentioning here. One day, In a room of a particular school building, when everyone is busy attending class, while my section class, doesn't have one, and this is called vacant. All my classmates are here inside of this particular empty room, no teacher but however it is a good room to teach to. Everyone here, laughing so hard, talking and chatting to each other, and playing an interesting online game through phone, and I'm one of them playing this, but the difference is, I'm completely alone in this empty chairs surrounds me, but luckily, a boy from the bunch of playing this online game, approach and noticed that I'm playing the game exactly what they are playing.
"You're emperor V, right?"
He's correct, my current rank in this game is Emperor 5, which is the highest rank in this game, and I'm slaying it smoothly while watching my gameplay. but I didn't reply.
But I want to.
The boy vanished, after his friends called him, and I'm back being alone with myself, why I can't speak normaly like them? please, If there's a God, help me out there, but no God replies.
But I'm happy that I'm being noticed. I will mark this boy face and print it inside my head. He's a slight-good looking, and informal attire, even though the majority of students wearing polos and slacks are quite huge.
The pressure is reducing unhappily. I need to take a break, and think.
Wait...
As I looking backward and recalling failed memories, my eyes are accidentally teared up, saltwaters slowly falling down running to my face.
One of the best memories has arrived.
"Hey everyone, come here! , we need to take a graduation picture!"
My classmates gathering like a magnetic field in one vicinity, with a tree shadow covering them from sunlight.
Our teacher is in the center of the ideal picture we can have, while students gathered and form a symmetrical position, from a tall student to short stature surrounds her, and actually I'm of them, in the right side of corner.
The cameraman, signalled, and the camera flicked at the same time, lights approached us in millisecond, and drammatically takes a shot, with different themes.
"Ok, wacky!"
I'm caught off-guard, I don't know how to pose a cringy stuff like that. Now, after all of that, five of my classmates suddenly, appeared in front of the cameran man, and bandwagon biased takes place, and I'm of them looking in the photo, that saved in that guys gallery.
My eyes steadily looking of that group picture, and As I expecting to see my face in the right side corner, there is no me in that photo, I looked severely, but I can't find my face in any picture of that cameraman, and that's unexpected. I didn't said anything, It is not a big deal, It's nothing important. But It is sad, actually... I'm trying hard to comfort myself, isn't I? It is nothing really.
Maybe I should go outside, and starts a new life by greeting my neighborhood.
"Ok class dismissed."
Without further ado, I'm going home.
--- ---
My entire childhood memories is great, the time I'm talking informaly, enjoying with my friends pranking adults in our street, playing and doing outdoor activity... with friends. Wait, do I have friends?