hi. please share your thoughts on this short story i wrote. kahit ano pong comment ay welcome wag lang bastos.
here it goes.
Way back when, parties are called disco, it's a lame term but it was what was in at the time. The guys waited at Raymond's house so they can all go together. William, Arvin is already there. They are waiting for Allan to arrive and Raymond is in the bathroom. Everybody was in their best attire. Travis told them beforehand that he will go with a girl but they will see each other in the disco.
"Every single time." William uttered.
Everybody laughed. William was referring to how Raymond always takes his bathroom after William arrived in his house. Allan arrived and Raymond finished getting ready. It was time.
The guys arrived 30 minutes late. This was the perfect time to arrive. Almost everyone in the school was there.
They gathered around the school statue. It was the literal head of the founder of the school.
"lets all meet here before the end." said Arvin.
It was like a huddle before the final minutes. After that they all went to fulfill their agendas.
William has found liz. There she was at the back of the stage together with her friends. She looks uninterested. William stood there. He closed his eye and talked to himself. "you can do this! "
He summoned up all the courage that he could muster.
William waited for the song to shift to a love song so he can dance with her. Gasolina song stopped and the king and queen of hearts were on. William walked towards liz. He was nervous but this was his chance. He cleared his throat and asked nervously "can i have this dance?"
The tension rise and the music seemed to stop. Liz's friends and some bystanders all looked at William. All eyes were on him. Poking. Puzzled. The heat was on.
"okay." liz replied while smiling. William took liz's hand and led her to the dance floor. His heart was beating like a drum. He moved his right hand to her waist and he reached out to her right hand with his left. William wished that the song would go on forever. He closed his eyes and felt the moment.
"wait! Let me explain!" someone uttered. William looked for the source and found Travis reaching out his hand toward the exit of the disco. William thought that that was a little over the top but he was enjoying the moment to think about anything else so he figured that he will asked for the details later.
Arvin found Raven sitting alone on the bench. He was nervous. She was always with someone. This was his chance to be alone with her. "hi rey, where is Rachel? Is she not with you?" Arvin asked.
"she was here a while ago. She went and look for Travis. " replied Raven. bored, she played with her comb.
Arvin has a followup question but he felt that it was not the time because the king and queen of hearts was on and Instead he asked "you w-wanna d-dance?"
"no. Let's just sit here. Don't leave me. Okkkaayyy? " answered Raven. Arvin was hooked. His heart skipped a beat. His sweat was cold. He moved closer to Raven, thinking she will move away but instead, Raven also moved closer. Arvin is now breathing heavily. There was a commotion on the dance floor. "what is it? " Raven asked. "its nothing." Arvin replied. He lied. It was everything. All the other things are irrelevant save this moment right here. Right now.
Raymond was having a hard time finding Stephanie. So he sat in one of the benches to take a rest. He was stumped until a small hand covered his eyes and asked "guess who?". He knew it was Stephanie "batman? " Raymond teased playfully.
He removed the hands and saw Stephanie. "no you silly. How the hell my hands are like batman's? " Stephanie replied. Feeling annoyed.
"i don't know. Hahaha. I am looking for you. " said Raymond.
"why? You're gonna ask me to dance?" Stephanie teased. Raymond was impressed. He never expected for Stephanie to be so direct. He cleared his throat.
"yes. Do you?" Raymond asked nervously.
"of course. Lets go! " replied Stephanie. Raymond figured the song is mexican or spanish or something but it was a good groove music. They danced like no one was watching. He thought that Stephanie enjoyed dancing. The song ended and it was followed by a love song. Stephanie wrapped his hand around Raymond's neck and Raymond was startled. His heart jumped. He immediately moved away from Stephanie because of shock. "what's wrong? Aren't you the one to ask me to dance?" said Stephanie.
"yeah. Sorry." Raymond replied. Something must've happened. Stephanie is usually super shy and timid. Stephanie wrap her hand around Raymond neck again and this time, Raymond responded by slowly placing his hand on her waist. He could literally feel her breath because her face is inches away from his. He looked at her lips. Imagined what it would feel like pressing against his. They locked eyes. As he inches closer to her,
"wait let me explain!" someone yelled. Annoyed, Raymond looks to find the source of the voice but Stephanie leaned closer to him so he ended up forgetting what it is. It was as if the they are the center of the world. This was as good as it gets.
Somewhere, Allan found Rachel standing alone and agitated. As if looking for someone. Allan shouted her name but the music was too loud for Rachel to hear. He moved toward Rachel and he pats her on her right shoulder. "Hey!" shouted Allan. "Oh. Hi!" said Rachel.
"Care to dance? " asked Allan.
"Maybe later. I'm waiting for someone." replied Rachel.
"Who? " asked Allan.
"Travis. Did you guys not go here together? " said Rachel.
"He said he'll be going with a girl so we didn't go together. I thought he was referring to you? “said Allan.
Rachel looked at something and tears fell down her chicks. She ran away. "Hey, what's going on?" said Allan as he followed her ,confused and worried. He saw Travis together with Danielle. Danielle looked pretty today but enough about her. Rachel bumps into Travis on the way out and he shouted. "Wait! It's not what you think!" feeling guilty, realizing what he has done. Raymond was moving closer to Stephanie and was about to kiss her when they heard Travis shout. Stephanie saw Rachel running away from Travis and he is together with Danielle. Stephanie was fine with Rachel being together with Travis but bringing Danielle in the mix is another matter entirely. She leaned closer to Raymond. Trying hard to ease the pain a little.
The song ended and the guys gathered around the statue. "everybody had fun? " asked Raymond. Everyone said yes except Allan.
"what's wrong? " asked William.
"i didn't get to dance
with Rachel." replied Allan. "don't worry man. We have plenty of chance to dance with the girl we like. We're only sophomores! Cheer up!" said Arvin.
"yeah i guess. It was kind of fun. " said Allan.
"that's the spirit! " said William.
After that everybody went home.
The next morning. . .
"yam, come find me during lunch break. I have something to discuss." said Allan.
During lunchbreak, after William finished his food, his favorite fried egg and rice combo, he looked for Allan and found him at the canteen. "so what is it?" asked William.
"not here. Lets go to the back" replied Allan.
"what's with all the secrecy?" you are freaking me out." said William.
"okay. I'll tell you but promise not to tell anyone especially Travis." said Allan.
William confusingly agreed by nodding his head.
"last night, after the disco, on my way home, i saw Rachel sitting on the curb right in front of her primary school."
"Rachel? What are you doing here? " asked Allan but he pretty much know what it is about. Rachel continued sobbing. Her eyes was dry and puffy from all the crying.
"let me take you home." said Allan.
"can we. . . S-stay here f-for a while? I don't want my parents to see me like this." asked Rachel.
"alright. Take as much time as you need. " said Allan while thinking that it was his responsibility to comfort her. He sat down beside Rachel and she leaned on his shoulder. He looked at her. Feeling all the sadness from. Allan wrapped around his arms around Rachel. Trying to save the day. they stayed there for a while. Allan thought that this night was not so bad. He saw another side of Rachel that was probably not for everyone to see. He saw her weakness. But of course he deliberately omitted this part of the story because this was only for him and Rachel.
cutemedievil. please criticize this.
here it goes.
Way back when, parties are called disco, it's a lame term but it was what was in at the time. The guys waited at Raymond's house so they can all go together. William, Arvin is already there. They are waiting for Allan to arrive and Raymond is in the bathroom. Everybody was in their best attire. Travis told them beforehand that he will go with a girl but they will see each other in the disco.
"Every single time." William uttered.
Everybody laughed. William was referring to how Raymond always takes his bathroom after William arrived in his house. Allan arrived and Raymond finished getting ready. It was time.
The guys arrived 30 minutes late. This was the perfect time to arrive. Almost everyone in the school was there.
They gathered around the school statue. It was the literal head of the founder of the school.
"lets all meet here before the end." said Arvin.
It was like a huddle before the final minutes. After that they all went to fulfill their agendas.
William has found liz. There she was at the back of the stage together with her friends. She looks uninterested. William stood there. He closed his eye and talked to himself. "you can do this! "
He summoned up all the courage that he could muster.
William waited for the song to shift to a love song so he can dance with her. Gasolina song stopped and the king and queen of hearts were on. William walked towards liz. He was nervous but this was his chance. He cleared his throat and asked nervously "can i have this dance?"
The tension rise and the music seemed to stop. Liz's friends and some bystanders all looked at William. All eyes were on him. Poking. Puzzled. The heat was on.
"okay." liz replied while smiling. William took liz's hand and led her to the dance floor. His heart was beating like a drum. He moved his right hand to her waist and he reached out to her right hand with his left. William wished that the song would go on forever. He closed his eyes and felt the moment.
"wait! Let me explain!" someone uttered. William looked for the source and found Travis reaching out his hand toward the exit of the disco. William thought that that was a little over the top but he was enjoying the moment to think about anything else so he figured that he will asked for the details later.
Arvin found Raven sitting alone on the bench. He was nervous. She was always with someone. This was his chance to be alone with her. "hi rey, where is Rachel? Is she not with you?" Arvin asked.
"she was here a while ago. She went and look for Travis. " replied Raven. bored, she played with her comb.
Arvin has a followup question but he felt that it was not the time because the king and queen of hearts was on and Instead he asked "you w-wanna d-dance?"
"no. Let's just sit here. Don't leave me. Okkkaayyy? " answered Raven. Arvin was hooked. His heart skipped a beat. His sweat was cold. He moved closer to Raven, thinking she will move away but instead, Raven also moved closer. Arvin is now breathing heavily. There was a commotion on the dance floor. "what is it? " Raven asked. "its nothing." Arvin replied. He lied. It was everything. All the other things are irrelevant save this moment right here. Right now.
Raymond was having a hard time finding Stephanie. So he sat in one of the benches to take a rest. He was stumped until a small hand covered his eyes and asked "guess who?". He knew it was Stephanie "batman? " Raymond teased playfully.
He removed the hands and saw Stephanie. "no you silly. How the hell my hands are like batman's? " Stephanie replied. Feeling annoyed.
"i don't know. Hahaha. I am looking for you. " said Raymond.
"why? You're gonna ask me to dance?" Stephanie teased. Raymond was impressed. He never expected for Stephanie to be so direct. He cleared his throat.
"yes. Do you?" Raymond asked nervously.
"of course. Lets go! " replied Stephanie. Raymond figured the song is mexican or spanish or something but it was a good groove music. They danced like no one was watching. He thought that Stephanie enjoyed dancing. The song ended and it was followed by a love song. Stephanie wrapped his hand around Raymond's neck and Raymond was startled. His heart jumped. He immediately moved away from Stephanie because of shock. "what's wrong? Aren't you the one to ask me to dance?" said Stephanie.
"yeah. Sorry." Raymond replied. Something must've happened. Stephanie is usually super shy and timid. Stephanie wrap her hand around Raymond neck again and this time, Raymond responded by slowly placing his hand on her waist. He could literally feel her breath because her face is inches away from his. He looked at her lips. Imagined what it would feel like pressing against his. They locked eyes. As he inches closer to her,
"wait let me explain!" someone yelled. Annoyed, Raymond looks to find the source of the voice but Stephanie leaned closer to him so he ended up forgetting what it is. It was as if the they are the center of the world. This was as good as it gets.
Somewhere, Allan found Rachel standing alone and agitated. As if looking for someone. Allan shouted her name but the music was too loud for Rachel to hear. He moved toward Rachel and he pats her on her right shoulder. "Hey!" shouted Allan. "Oh. Hi!" said Rachel.
"Care to dance? " asked Allan.
"Maybe later. I'm waiting for someone." replied Rachel.
"Who? " asked Allan.
"Travis. Did you guys not go here together? " said Rachel.
"He said he'll be going with a girl so we didn't go together. I thought he was referring to you? “said Allan.
Rachel looked at something and tears fell down her chicks. She ran away. "Hey, what's going on?" said Allan as he followed her ,confused and worried. He saw Travis together with Danielle. Danielle looked pretty today but enough about her. Rachel bumps into Travis on the way out and he shouted. "Wait! It's not what you think!" feeling guilty, realizing what he has done. Raymond was moving closer to Stephanie and was about to kiss her when they heard Travis shout. Stephanie saw Rachel running away from Travis and he is together with Danielle. Stephanie was fine with Rachel being together with Travis but bringing Danielle in the mix is another matter entirely. She leaned closer to Raymond. Trying hard to ease the pain a little.
The song ended and the guys gathered around the statue. "everybody had fun? " asked Raymond. Everyone said yes except Allan.
"what's wrong? " asked William.
"i didn't get to dance
with Rachel." replied Allan. "don't worry man. We have plenty of chance to dance with the girl we like. We're only sophomores! Cheer up!" said Arvin.
"yeah i guess. It was kind of fun. " said Allan.
"that's the spirit! " said William.
After that everybody went home.
The next morning. . .
"yam, come find me during lunch break. I have something to discuss." said Allan.
During lunchbreak, after William finished his food, his favorite fried egg and rice combo, he looked for Allan and found him at the canteen. "so what is it?" asked William.
"not here. Lets go to the back" replied Allan.
"what's with all the secrecy?" you are freaking me out." said William.
"okay. I'll tell you but promise not to tell anyone especially Travis." said Allan.
William confusingly agreed by nodding his head.
"last night, after the disco, on my way home, i saw Rachel sitting on the curb right in front of her primary school."
"Rachel? What are you doing here? " asked Allan but he pretty much know what it is about. Rachel continued sobbing. Her eyes was dry and puffy from all the crying.
"let me take you home." said Allan.
"can we. . . S-stay here f-for a while? I don't want my parents to see me like this." asked Rachel.
"alright. Take as much time as you need. " said Allan while thinking that it was his responsibility to comfort her. He sat down beside Rachel and she leaned on his shoulder. He looked at her. Feeling all the sadness from. Allan wrapped around his arms around Rachel. Trying to save the day. they stayed there for a while. Allan thought that this night was not so bad. He saw another side of Rachel that was probably not for everyone to see. He saw her weakness. But of course he deliberately omitted this part of the story because this was only for him and Rachel.
cutemedievil. please criticize this.
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